Happiness is "To love someone or to be loved by someone"???
是爱人幸福，还是被爱幸福？
Everyone loved to be love! Especially for girls, they will feel happier having to be loved than to love. For guys, maybe the same but they are more "daring" to pursue their love than "submit" to someone who love them!
In a relationship, the best way is both of them love each other as much!!! But what if this is not possible in their relationship, one person love more than the other? Then is it that the girl will prefer to be loved to feel happiness? B'coz her bf/hubby will shower all his love for her & she knew that he will never cheat or betray her? Is that better than loving someone which maybe more tiring & hurtful?
To love someone, is it more tiring? B'coz we need to spend more time & effort (心思) on the person we love? We spend time missing the person, spend time thinking what he/she like, spend time thinking how can we understand him/her more or what can we do to make him/her love us more? We need to worry if they will betray us, which is more hurtful in a way if this really happened. Do we stayed or leave?
Being loved? Taking the love for granted since someone is loving him/her wholeheartedly? Is this what most people is doing when they are in a "being loved" position? We did it unknowingly, not realising what we are doing is hurting our partner, till one day he/she say they cannot continue to live with us anymore & walked out of our life! Then we REALISED but it's all too late!
Give and take is important in a relationship. We must learn how to balance this, or else will it will become an unhealthy relationship. Things will start to sour when time is long. Giving party will feel tired & taking party will continue to take for granted!
It's hard to maintain a good & healthy relationship! Keep it up & do your best!!! :)
Happiness = CAN love & be loved!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
KLIM
Saw this on tv few weeks ago so kaypo took a photo of it! Anyone can remember this? Those who remember or saw it before must be living in this earth for quite while liao!! Haahaa.... Lucky, I'm someone who knew aboutt it but never saw it before... therefore, I'm not that old yet!! Haahaa...
* KLIM = MILK (??!!)
Okie, saw this on a chinese drama called <周璇>, acted by 张柏芝! A very nice show talking about the life of a famous singer in 1930s. Heehee... A handsome singer, 许绍洋 also acting in this show. Check it out!!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Funeral in 7th Month...
7th month is here!! The most "scariest" month of the lunar year!! Oppss.. hit my mouth!!! Dun anyhow say during this month! I maybe too superstitious but I was brought up this way since young, passed down generations by generations in a traditional chinese family! Certain things or words are taboos during this month! Anyway, 平时不做愧心事，半夜敲门也不惊！
Hiazzz sad to say that I had to attend a funeral in this month, esp is a relative! My paternal grandma had just passed away on the 4th day of the 7th month... my 1st reaction was "Wah, our passed-on ancestors so fast come & bring Ah Mah down? Maybe Ah Gong missed her?" (My paternal grandpa passed away in 2004)
We (my bros & I) were not very closed with my grandma (& grandpa), maybe b'coz we seldom visit them. My dad's side relatives all stayed within same area & had a shophouse near where we stayed (my mum's hse lah). My mum dun quite like us to go down to the shophouse often. I dun really understand why mum dun quite like us to be too closed with them. But after married, encountered in-laws problems myself then I realised my mum's intention! Heehee....
But I still have some vague memories of my grandparents, esp when looking back at the old photos! Err.. I remember that my grandparents stayed in the unit above the shop when we were very young. It was later that they moved out to a HDB flat nearby. The most significant image (even for the neighbours there, I guess) is my grandma sitting at the shop everyday! Even my secondary school mate cum neighbour also remembers that when I told her my grandma's death!
My grandparents doted all the grandchildren a lot! My grandpa will go market to buy fresh prawns & steamed SPECIALLY for me when he heard that I'm going down to visit them! Heehee... coz everyone in the big family knew prawns is my favourite!!! Think no one ever "dare" to snatch the prawns with me!!!! Haahaa....
Anyway, back to the funeral! As my father-in-law also passed away early this year. Me & my own family (hubby & kids) are not supposed to join in the praying rites! Quoted by my relatives: 一个人一年里不能带两次孝！So we only allowed to attend the wake & can't go thru' the rituals. On the last day (出殡), the ceremory rites done by the Tan Clan was not as grand as my grandpa's time. Maybe coz my grandpa was the member, grandma is just wife of member so different?
After the rites, the coffin was carried to the casket van & we followed the van & walk round the shop surroundings then took the chartered bus to Mandai Crematorium. After the cremation, we (the grandchildren & great grandchildren) will returned to the wake while my parents, uncles & aunties (sons, daughter-in-laws & daughters) will proceed to a temple in Toa Payoh to store grandma's ash with the rest of the ancestors.
* 孝: A piece of colored cloth is worn on the sleeve of each of the family members for 100 days to signify mourning (Black is worn by the deceased's children, blue by the grandchildren and green by the great grandchildren).
Hiazzz sad to say that I had to attend a funeral in this month, esp is a relative! My paternal grandma had just passed away on the 4th day of the 7th month... my 1st reaction was "Wah, our passed-on ancestors so fast come & bring Ah Mah down? Maybe Ah Gong missed her?" (My paternal grandpa passed away in 2004)
We (my bros & I) were not very closed with my grandma (& grandpa), maybe b'coz we seldom visit them. My dad's side relatives all stayed within same area & had a shophouse near where we stayed (my mum's hse lah). My mum dun quite like us to go down to the shophouse often. I dun really understand why mum dun quite like us to be too closed with them. But after married, encountered in-laws problems myself then I realised my mum's intention! Heehee....
But I still have some vague memories of my grandparents, esp when looking back at the old photos! Err.. I remember that my grandparents stayed in the unit above the shop when we were very young. It was later that they moved out to a HDB flat nearby. The most significant image (even for the neighbours there, I guess) is my grandma sitting at the shop everyday! Even my secondary school mate cum neighbour also remembers that when I told her my grandma's death!
My grandparents doted all the grandchildren a lot! My grandpa will go market to buy fresh prawns & steamed SPECIALLY for me when he heard that I'm going down to visit them! Heehee... coz everyone in the big family knew prawns is my favourite!!! Think no one ever "dare" to snatch the prawns with me!!!! Haahaa....
Anyway, back to the funeral! As my father-in-law also passed away early this year. Me & my own family (hubby & kids) are not supposed to join in the praying rites! Quoted by my relatives: 一个人一年里不能带两次孝！So we only allowed to attend the wake & can't go thru' the rituals. On the last day (出殡), the ceremory rites done by the Tan Clan was not as grand as my grandpa's time. Maybe coz my grandpa was the member, grandma is just wife of member so different?
After the rites, the coffin was carried to the casket van & we followed the van & walk round the shop surroundings then took the chartered bus to Mandai Crematorium. After the cremation, we (the grandchildren & great grandchildren) will returned to the wake while my parents, uncles & aunties (sons, daughter-in-laws & daughters) will proceed to a temple in Toa Payoh to store grandma's ash with the rest of the ancestors.
* 孝: A piece of colored cloth is worn on the sleeve of each of the family members for 100 days to signify mourning (Black is worn by the deceased's children, blue by the grandchildren and green by the great grandchildren).
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
What is Love?
What is love:
- to a single man & woman?
When we are single, we will look forward to a bf /gf.... how he/she is like, will he/she dote me like I'm the most precious/important person in the world?
- to a couple in a relationship?
Dating couples are the most 幸福 & happiest people in the world, esp when love had just blossom between them & starting of a relationship. The dating couple will give surprises to their bf/gf, say/sms/msn/ym.... "I Love You" whenever they missed each other!
- to a married couple?
Where has all the "romantic" moments they shared went to? No more kisses, no more I Love You, no more hugging? Everything seems like hidden somewhere deeply in their hearts... taking for granted that their spouse will "KNOW" how they felt for them. No need anymore "romantic" actions to show their love. Izzit really like that?
For a husband, he may think that after settling down with a marriage, he should focus & concentrate on his career... Bring the bread home & the rest will pieced up on their own.
For a wife, she maybe thinking how come my husband never loved me like before? We were not like that last time? We would call to chit-chat when there's chance, drop a "I Love You" sms anytime, give a kiss or hug when saw each other for the 1st time in a day! Now? Call to chit-chat will only get a "The M1 Customer you are calling is unavailable right now, please try again later!" or drop a "I Love You!" sms but getting no reply! SIANZ...
Time to pay more attention to your marriage, MEN!!!!! Else very fast, your marriage will be on the rocks coz we woman will pick up a quarrel anytime & anywhere!!! So DO something now!!!
**Psstt... Men!! We dun need material things to make us happy! We NEED your love, MAN!!!!
- to a divorced man & woman?
Sad to hear that a "used-to-be" loving couple actually filed for divorced! Why had a married couple had to end their marriage this way & not till old age when death do us apart?
Tot "till death do us apart" is what we had been wishing for when we were still single & looking forward to a happy relationship; to a dating couple who had been wishing for their wonderful future; to a married couple who had vowed on their wedding day that they will do so & trying to do so after married?
But why do they had to go separate ways? Due to many reasons but mainly these are some very important reasons:
1) Extramarital affairs - This is a taboo to all marriage!!! Let it be husband or wife who stray? Why do they stray? More temptations outside? Why dun they find that their spouse is tempting anymore? Lack of communications, like what I mentioned above? Take for granted that our love ones will "know" how we feel w/o romantic actions? But what if they don't? Anyway, do you NEED to stray? COMMUNICATE & improve on your marriage & not keeping quiet!!! There's no way your spouse will "feel" your love if you just "think" they know! Advice: Open your eyes big big & survey the people around you, your spouse might be getting "hooked" by someone you know or near you!!!! Dun be a fool!!!
2) Family strains - Strains? What kind of strains? In laws? Well, everyone knows that "婆媳关系" is the big headache for the husband coz they are sandwiched in between mother & wife!!! A kind of strain which inherited for many centuries! Advice: Look open!!! Say so easy? There's nothing much we can do if our husband is a fillal son! Everyone will have their own way to solve or avoid the strain from spreading out!! Do your best!!!
* Okie, no good advice from me as I'm into this situation & trying to look open but still not much open yet!
3) Emotional/physical abuse - How can anyone withstand abuse? Emotionally or physically abuse "hurt" as much! Emotional... a "higher" stage of abuse. A mental kind... can caused your spouse to become "mentally unstable" when you talk about your "real or imaginary" affairs!! Can die, man!!! Stop "mentally" killing your lovely wife softly with your words!!!!! Physical abuse, GET LOST!! Advice: Kill me, pls! (Heehee.... joking! Get professional help asap!!!!)
- to a single man & woman?
When we are single, we will look forward to a bf /gf.... how he/she is like, will he/she dote me like I'm the most precious/important person in the world?
- to a couple in a relationship?
Dating couples are the most 幸福 & happiest people in the world, esp when love had just blossom between them & starting of a relationship. The dating couple will give surprises to their bf/gf, say/sms/msn/ym.... "I Love You" whenever they missed each other!
- to a married couple?
Where has all the "romantic" moments they shared went to? No more kisses, no more I Love You, no more hugging? Everything seems like hidden somewhere deeply in their hearts... taking for granted that their spouse will "KNOW" how they felt for them. No need anymore "romantic" actions to show their love. Izzit really like that?
For a husband, he may think that after settling down with a marriage, he should focus & concentrate on his career... Bring the bread home & the rest will pieced up on their own.
For a wife, she maybe thinking how come my husband never loved me like before? We were not like that last time? We would call to chit-chat when there's chance, drop a "I Love You" sms anytime, give a kiss or hug when saw each other for the 1st time in a day! Now? Call to chit-chat will only get a "The M1 Customer you are calling is unavailable right now, please try again later!" or drop a "I Love You!" sms but getting no reply! SIANZ...
Time to pay more attention to your marriage, MEN!!!!! Else very fast, your marriage will be on the rocks coz we woman will pick up a quarrel anytime & anywhere!!! So DO something now!!!
**Psstt... Men!! We dun need material things to make us happy! We NEED your love, MAN!!!!
- to a divorced man & woman?
Sad to hear that a "used-to-be" loving couple actually filed for divorced! Why had a married couple had to end their marriage this way & not till old age when death do us apart?
Tot "till death do us apart" is what we had been wishing for when we were still single & looking forward to a happy relationship; to a dating couple who had been wishing for their wonderful future; to a married couple who had vowed on their wedding day that they will do so & trying to do so after married?
But why do they had to go separate ways? Due to many reasons but mainly these are some very important reasons:
1) Extramarital affairs - This is a taboo to all marriage!!! Let it be husband or wife who stray? Why do they stray? More temptations outside? Why dun they find that their spouse is tempting anymore? Lack of communications, like what I mentioned above? Take for granted that our love ones will "know" how we feel w/o romantic actions? But what if they don't? Anyway, do you NEED to stray? COMMUNICATE & improve on your marriage & not keeping quiet!!! There's no way your spouse will "feel" your love if you just "think" they know! Advice: Open your eyes big big & survey the people around you, your spouse might be getting "hooked" by someone you know or near you!!!! Dun be a fool!!!
2) Family strains - Strains? What kind of strains? In laws? Well, everyone knows that "婆媳关系" is the big headache for the husband coz they are sandwiched in between mother & wife!!! A kind of strain which inherited for many centuries! Advice: Look open!!! Say so easy? There's nothing much we can do if our husband is a fillal son! Everyone will have their own way to solve or avoid the strain from spreading out!! Do your best!!!
* Okie, no good advice from me as I'm into this situation & trying to look open but still not much open yet!
3) Emotional/physical abuse - How can anyone withstand abuse? Emotionally or physically abuse "hurt" as much! Emotional... a "higher" stage of abuse. A mental kind... can caused your spouse to become "mentally unstable" when you talk about your "real or imaginary" affairs!! Can die, man!!! Stop "mentally" killing your lovely wife softly with your words!!!!! Physical abuse, GET LOST!! Advice: Kill me, pls! (Heehee.... joking! Get professional help asap!!!!)
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Sandals
Went shopping last weekends! Hubby and I each bought a pair of sandals. Mine was from Birkenstock (Papillio) for $149 and hubby's from Pedro only $39. Haahaa....
This is the closed-up photo of my sandals! Hubby chosed this pair of sandals coz of the nice beads & sewings! ;p
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Introduction To My Blogs
This is my 1st post in this new blog! This is a 4th blog which I had created! Actually using Wretch but due to some limitations on blogging, so decided to transfer the blog over! Heehee... but I will still continue to explore both blogs.
Introduction of my blogs:
1) Divine-Cafe: This blog is a journal on my bakings! Hope readers from here will 捧场 my food blog very often!
2) Cher-secret-garden: Sorry no link to this blog coz everything in this blog are for my eyes only! Very personal stuffs are written there!
3) My Life & Me: Same as this blog, I will talk about anything around me!
Introduction of my blogs:
1) Divine-Cafe: This blog is a journal on my bakings! Hope readers from here will 捧场 my food blog very often!
2) Cher-secret-garden: Sorry no link to this blog coz everything in this blog are for my eyes only! Very personal stuffs are written there!
3) My Life & Me: Same as this blog, I will talk about anything around me!
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